Subway Survival Lessons & Persuadin’ the Asians in Friday Linkage
#1 – Olfactory Minutiae
There isn’t a lot of time, once you enter a subway car, to figure out where you are going to stand or sit. Time is of the essence. You could end up crammed in a corner by that scary partition door that flies open, making you feel like you are on Money Train and going to be sucked out onto the tracks. The worst experience is, because of lacking reek-dar, being stuck next to Stinky McFunkatrons.
Here is a brief list of factors to help you determine if that person crammed next to you will smell Good/Bad, thereby instantly determining the overall quality of your subway ride:
* Is a Woman – Good
* Is a Woman snarling at an invisible being – Bad
* Person has clean looking/freshly washed hair – Good
* Is carrying over eight bags that could possibly be filled with expired things found behind a deli – Bad
* Has a small child with them – Good
(usually is perfumed to overcompensate for potential diaper stinkage)
* Person is writing in a Journal – Good
* Person is writing on their leg, with a blade – Bad
I don’t want to imply that if you notice signs of insanity in someone, that they will smell. Not true. Just yesterday I was forced to stand behind a well dressed gentleman for 30 minutes who smelled completely of egg-butt. After the initial disgust, it was kind of intriguing. He was not passing gas – his natural body odor was just offensive. I felt it lingering in my nose far long after I had exited the train.
Avril Lavigne – World Linguist? – Capitalizing on her global popularity, Avril has made recordings of multilingual versions of “Girlfriend” in French, Spanish, German, Italian, Portuguese, Mandarin, and Japanese. Hindi, apparently proved too difficult for Ms. Avril after she attempted a runthrough…but according to comments on Youtube about her attempt: “She massacred Mandarin.” – via Schema
Thoughts on the NBC/Newscorp Video Venture – Mark Cuban makes some good points on how the partnership is a very smart strategic move to put significant roadblocks in Google’s path, while paving a way for those involved with Newco to give users and advertisers what they want from Online Video. (The comments are pretty interesting too)
Hmm… Do I want one? Nah.